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by Mike Gaudiosi

Even for your kitty cat!

No, I'm not joking, this is real folks! There is a Bible translation for Lolcats, conveniently titled “the Lolcat Bible”. Translated by The LOLCat Bible Translation Project. What is a Lolcat you may ask? defines it this way:

Lolcats are images combining photographs of animals, most frequently cats, with a subjectively humorous and idiosyncratic caption in broken English referred to as Kitty Pidgin,Kitteh, or lolspeak. The idea originated in the 4chan imageboards as the Caturday internet phenomenon”

To make it easy, Wikipedia gives an example with a picture of a cat and the caption says “Oh hi, I help wif ur shopping.” Get the idea? It was only a matter of time before someone would use this nonsense to make a “translation” of the Bible.

Just to be clear, this article is not about which bible translation is the best, or the correct translation. I'll save this for another time. Rather, this is about how God's Word is mocked and ridiculed by this ridiculous form of “speech”. It both angers and saddens me that the Word of God would be treated so disrespectfully. To refer to God as “Ceiling Cat” and Jesus Christ as “kitteh” is the ultimate form of blasphemy, that I can't even use words to describe it. Instead, I'll give you a few examples.

Let's start with one of the most popular verses in the Bible. John 3:16 is a verse you see people holding up on posters at football games...etc. This verse reads: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

This verse gives hope for a world lost and dying in sin and describes how much God loves us! However, this deep and loving meaning is tragically lost in the Lolcat bible translation which reads like this: “So liek teh Ceiling Cat lieks teh ppl lots and he sez 'Oh hai I givez u me only kitteh and ifs u beleevs in him u wont evr diez no moar, k?”

What?? “Ceiling Cat lieks the ppl that he gave his only kitteh??” You've got to be kidding me! No, they are not kidding! How about John 3:3 which reads: “Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.”

Lolcat rips this apart like this: An Jesus sed, "Ceiling Cat has invisible haus, u gots 2 borned agen 2 see it." Jesus never referred to the Kingdom of God as an “invisible haus.”


The next example is John 14:6, which is a very clear verse where Jesus declares Himself as the only one and true way of salvation. John 14:6 reads: “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” This is a very important verse of scripture in regards to the essentials of the Christian faith and doctrine. How does Lolcat translate this verse? I must warn you, they use strong graphics. Lolcat translates John 14:6 like this: Jebus say "oh hai. i m teh way n teh truf n teh life. no one can has watching hoomins masturbate wif Ceiling Cat wifout me."

WHAT?? Yes folks there are expletives used in this translation. The reason for this is because the Lolcat web site is Wikipedia style, meaning anyone can go in and edit this so-called translation and add in whatever they want. Here's another example. Mark 16:20 reads this way: “And they went forth, and preached every where, the Lord working with them, and confirming the word with signs following. Amen.”

This passage of scripture tells about the disciples of Jesus Christ going forth to preach the Gospel and God doing wondrous miracles as they obeyed the Great Commission. Look at the way Lolcat destroys this verse: “An dey went an telded all teh catz and kittehz wat happn, and Ceiling Cat halpded dem do amazn sh** to proev it. Kthxbai.” Using a cuss word to describe God's miracles is absolute heresy! Yet these people have gone and done it! If you think I'm making this up, here's the link to the site, just in case you want to see this garbage for yourself:

I'll give one more example. Matthew 1:20 the angel of the Lord appears to Joseph in a dream, the verse reads: “But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the LORD appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.”

Look how Lolcat describes The Holy Ghost in their translation: “But when he was tihnkin, zomg, a WallCat frm Ceiling Cat was liek, "Oh hai! I'm in ur dreemz, givin u messij. Don't be scairdy cat. Take Mary as ur wife - is virjn. But teh Forse is strong in tihs wun, lol! HoverCat is on hur, givn hur feetus, srsly.”

WHAT?? The Holy Ghost a “Forse”?? I can go on with more, but I think I've shown you enough to get an idea of how evil this really is. Considering the apostate condition the Church in America is in today, it would not be a surprise if some of these churches will use this translation in their Sunday morning services! Would they dare do a Lolcat translation of the Koran? We'll just have to wait and see. What are your thoughts on this article?

Search the Scripture for yourself! SOLA SCRIPTURA! The Scripture ALONE! May the Lord bless you!